Amor Et Argentum

Friday, December 01, 2006

Misfire.

Well, that isn't the most intelligent move, now is it? Moron. Damnit. It no longer matters what happens after this, because I misfired badly. Shit.

Monday, November 27, 2006

I want this damn degree!

So, I'm basically done with my BFA in Comm Design in about 3 weeks. I'll be happy to have it and walk (assuming I can somehow pay for a cap/gown) across that stage for my folks. Unfortunately, I've got about 30 hours of Comm Studies (an entirely different degree) hovering over my head saying, "turn me into a BA!".

But I don't have the money for it, and since I'll doubtlessly be counted as a dependent by my parents, I can't go solo and get financial aid on my own. Unfortunately, I can't really run the solo-loan thing either as I just barely started working for the university and I've moved in the last 12 months. So, it's off to ask my parents to co-sign for me. I want to go to bloody grad school.

If I can convince them that I really need another degree. And though I don't need another bachelor's, I've been told it'll help me get paid more once I get hired. The extra income will help me knock out student debt faster in the long run as it should help move me up the ladder faster.

I hate asking for help, I can't stand doing it, but I know for sure that I won't have the money for this. Heck, I'm gonna have to ask for help again this month since the university has a 2-week payroll delay for new employees.

And finally, why is it that every creative I know absolutely sucks with money? I mean, I don't know a single person from my program that's got a complete handle on their finances. Are we, as creatives, genetically pre-disposed to suck with money? Do we sacrifice practical money sense for an ability to think in color?

Damnit.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Well, that was anticlimactic.

My little (big) problem has more or less resolved itself with a lovely noon phonecall. It's funny how old friendships change their shapes and how certain situations make you feel as if certain things are demanded of you when in fact, they aren't.

So to you, my first everything, I'm deeply sorry that the state won't let you get paid to student teach and that it won't give you time to work a job and actually put money in your pockets. There's always loans and such, but I know you're too sensible to do that without very careful consideration. I wish your parents would actually let you live your life and stop acting as an extension of their own, but that's out of my hands. Good luck, and maybe I'll actually be able to see you this winter. I'm bothered that I haven't seen one of the four most important friends in years because our schedules never, ever match up.

And if my mom says stupid things like, "You and Kit should start dating again," tell her that her son's a big meanie.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

[Imitating Marcus] "What 'n' da' heezy?!"

I don't get this.

I go into my first fencing tournament and I'm not shaken at all. I'm focused, prepared, and sure of myself. I should be nerve-wracked, but I'm not. I walk out of the tournament with an 8-2 record.

Then the next day, I'm entirely in charge of a rescue/escort mission. I feel a little unsure of myself, but I stand with my plan and I trust my squad leaders. I feel confident in my command ability and I know I'm flexible enough to adjust to the constant changes on the field. So I dish out the orders, and when it's over, my platoon takes minimal casualties (3-4 wounded, 0 dead), the entire opposition is more or less wiped out, and we successfully locate, rescue, and lead our guys to the extraction point.

I'm graduating soon, and I've got two good post-grad plans and I'm not really upset about them. They can both work out for the best, and I can adjust both on-the-fly. All I have to do is complete two sculptures and I'm on my way. It's a matter of time management and discipline.

I went to my first big airsoft operation at Desert Vanguard and I wasn't the least bit nervous, even when I was leading my element on a new field against unfamiliar opposition. My primary weapon went down and I didn't freak one bit. I lost track of two element members and I wasn't phased. Had my first CQB/urban combat encounter and I wasn't too nervous.

But for this particular matter, I'm more or less discombobulated.

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Let's start this all over again.

Because it's one of those times to reset the clock, and begin from scratch.

Graduation is approaching and I still need to arrange a cap/gown as well as design my invites. Furthermore, I don't know about getting a class ring since I don't have the money for that, and especially since I might be finishing another bachelor's degree in May, so I might just wait until then for the ring.

Thanks to Kat, I've come out of that "I don't want to bother with dating" hole after essentially being called a pussy. I can't argue with that one.

And after going 8-2 in my first fencing tournament, only losing to one of the 2 best teams in attendance, I'm pleased with my performance. Mind you, I'm also pleased that for the most part, I'm unrivaled in speed. Once I get my form and technique, I should be great.